Cash Rich - but time poor

Cash Rich but Time poor......

Two  years ago a couple came to see me in acute distress. The husband was a workaholic, working late into the evening and most weekends. His wife was at the end of her tether, she felt lonely, unloved, tired and frustrated. They had three small children and she felt as if she was operating as a single parent.

We had a number of sessions during which we examined why the Husband felt the need to work such long hours. Low self esteem is the central issue with the majority of workaholics and this case was no exception. 

Once he began to open up, he explained how growing up he had never felt good enough. His parents were both very successful and had set very high standards for their children. Praise was rare and criticism often harsh.

On examination the Husband was able to see that perfectionism ruled most of his activities, he also recognised that he was on a hamster wheel, that for every mountain he climbed there was another higher one to conquer once he reached the summit.

His wife complained that he was never happy with what they had, and was always wanting more. He agreed to reprioritise his life and make more room for his wife and children, and their relationships flourished as a result. 

One of the many disagreements they had as a couple was that the wife was very happy in their family home, but the husband wanted to move to somewhere more prestigious. When they finished therapy this problem had been left to be resolved at a later date. 

This was two years ago. Fast forward to January this year when I received  an email in my inbox titled 'Making Progress'. The husband then detailed how he had got his way and a decision had been made to move house. With in excess of a million pound budget, before Christmas they had gone out visiting lavish homes in their local area. 

Apparently after visiting five amazing homes, with indoor pools and tennis courts, my client suddenly had a change of heart and told his wife he no longer wanted to move.

When his wife asked what had instigated this change he explained that when he had asked each Estate Agent why each particular house was on the market, he had the same reply each and every time, "Unfortunately the owners are Divorcing".

My client said that this made him sit and reflect on exactly why he needed a bigger and better house. He said he concluded that the stress of maintenance and higher mortgage repayments would only further fuel his need to work. He also recognised that he too was perfectly happy in their current family home.  

The moral of this story is that it is fine to have goals and strive for improvements in our lives. But we must be conscious of the reasons behind our decisions, and also the effect these decisions will have on our lives. 

Bigger is not always better, the secret to happiness is learning to be content with what we already have. Contentment is true wealth.