It is important not to confuse unconditional love with an unconditional relationship

It is important not to confuse unconditional love with an unconditional relationship.

The love a parent feels towards their child is often referred to as unconditional love. Regardless of the conditions, their love remains a constant. Unconditional love can also be declared within romantic love. That at all times and in all circumstances, there is an underlying sense of love towards each other.

It is however very important that regardless of your feelings of unconditional love you recognise that a healthy relationship requires boundaries, mutual respect, and kindness. Unconditional love should not mean ' however you treat me, however unkind and disrespectful you are, I will remain in this relationship because I unconditionally love you'.

Love given on those terms will quickly unbalance a relationship, respect will be diminished, and it leaves open season for all kinds of unacceptable behaviour. 

The minute you start giving to another to the detriment of your own wellbeing, your relationship is entering unhealthy territory. 

How can you expect respect from another if you do not show respect to yourself.

You can still love someone while firmly upholding your boundaries. 

You can still love someone, while realising it is unhealthy for you to remain in a relationship with them. Sometimes the people we love treat us unkindly, or disrespectfully and in these circumstances if they are unwilling or unable to change, it is healthy, however difficult it may be, to step away from the relationship. Sometimes this will give the other person time to reflect on your position and realise that they need to change their behaviour if they would like the relationship to continue. 

Stepping away from an unhealthy relationship should never be regarded as failure. This is knowing how best to take care of yourself. Taking responsibility for the relationships that you choose to have in your life. Learning to own your part in every relationship you have in your life, is hugely empowering. 

Remember that in the long term allowing someone to treat you badly, does not best serve you or the other person.