Self Love is a vital component to a healthy relationship

Why Self Love is Vital for Healthy Relationships

Time and again in my practise I see individuals that lack self love, and I witness the damage that it causes to their relationships. If we are unable to love ourselves how can we ever expect to be loved by another. 

Individuals with self love have learnt the importance of taking good care of themselves. They do not see self care are selfish but as a necessary part of staying emotionally and physically healthy. 

They have learnt how to put in place healthy boundaries with others. They do not help others when to do so will have a negative effect on themselves. They have learnt to take time. They have learnt to say no without feeling wracked with guilt. They have learnt the art of being kind to themselves. They accept that they will make mistakes, that they are not perfect. They have learn the art of forgiveness and self acceptance. They have also learnt that they are enough just as they are.

Self love is a very difficult concept for many people to grasp. Many people feel very uncomfortable with the idea of 'loving themselves'.  We come into this world alone and leave this world alone, the one constant in our lives is ourselves. We were not ever meant to be 'Perfect', without flaw. We all make mistakes and we all have fears and doubts, even the people that seem from the outside to have it all worked out. 

I have the honour of meeting people from all walks of life, many of whom are hugely successful. I can assure you that self doubt lingers even in those who have seemly 'made it'. The greatest impact you can have on your relationships is to start by improving the relationship you have with yourself.

Without self love it is impossible to be authentic and to show others who you truly are. A lack of self love means there is a part of yourself that you are not accepting or are ashamed of, a part that must remain hidden. Acceptance is a huge part of learning how to love yourself, as is forgiveness. Learn to accept your journey, accept and forgive yourself for your mistakes, for will endevour to do better next time.  Try and except that you are exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment. 

A lack of self love says ' I am not good enough, I should be better ' It says ' I should be thinner, prettier, richer, more successful' whatever is your poison. Poison is exactly what it is because a lack of self love, reduces and hides, and stops your individual light from shinning. It generates fear, and fear and love can NEVER exist together. Place fear into any relationship and it will eventually destroy it. Fear stops people from putting up boundaries. Fear forces people to accept mistreatment from others. Fear destroys independence and creates neediness. 

Make 2018 the year you truly learn the art of loving and accepting yourself. Take time, smell the coffee, relax, and tell your self daily for the next 365 days  ' I love and approve of yourself ' and ' I am enough just as I am '. I promise you, your life and relationships will change immesureably for the better .