The importance of empathy to relationship happiness

The importance of empathy to relationship happiness.

" If we hope to meet the moral tests of our times then I think we are going to have to talk more about The Empathy Deficit. The ability to put ourselves somebody else's shoes, to see the world through somebody else's eyes...."

Empathy is the greatest tool for connection. It allows people to feel seen, heard and understood. It shows others that we are not only interested and listening but that we care enough to try and understand how it feels to walk in the their shoes, to share both their feelings and their experiences. 

 The definition of a connection is a bond, link or attachment, - we are all innately wired for connection from the moment we draw our first breath. We have a need to feel important in the lives of those close to us, and empathy from others allows us to feel so much more than a surface connection but at a deep and meaningful level. Empathy has the ability to both bond and heal.

Empathy also helps with our ability to forgive others when we feel hurt or wronged. If we are able to understand the reasons why, if we take the time to listen to the other side of the story, (in the case of relationships our partner's perspective) then we are better equipped to offer forgiveness. 

Empathy requires our time, attention and commitment. Taking the time to listen and digest when our partners talk to us. One of the greatest displays of love is giving our time.

Some people naturally have a great deal of empathy, while others struggle to read and understand the emotions of others. If you know yourself to struggle in this area, talk to your partner about it. Tell that you want to improve your emotional intelligence and to learn to read their emotional environment better. 

Watch and study body language, crossed arms show defensiveness, a lowered head can indicate sadness, a jutting chin aggression. Listen, not only the words spoken but the tone they are spoken in. Listen for the space between sentences, that might indicate reflection or an internal struggle to articulate how they feel. Touch, a warm hug or a touch of hand when you can see someone is upset can immediately offer comfort and show care and concern.

Take time to work on developing empathy as it is the quickest route to a deep connection, for a relationship devoid of empathy is a very lonely place to be.