When your relationship is in crisis it can be a good time to recalibrate your work/life balance

Work/Life Balance

There are certain professions that show up time and time again in my practise as the sectors where weekly working hours are so long it leaves no time for a quality relationship.

Doctors/Surgeons/Consultants

Barristers

Accountants

Company Owners / Directors

Teachers

Not only do the sheer number of hours worked make it impossible for quality alone time, but also when a person is working ridiculously long hours they are completely depleted by the end of the week and have no energy left to bring to their relationship. 

Add to long working hours the crazy extracurricular activities of most children these days, and there often is virtually no time left for each other. 

Imagine turning up at a gym with the intension of losing weight and getting fit, and then telling the trainer that you are unable to train weekly because your work takes you away too frequently and you will only be able to dedicate time as and when you have a little free time. You would be told that it is just not possible to get fit unless you are prepared to give regular and consistent time to the program.

It is not unusual for me to be approached by a couple who are 'desperate' for help only to find that attempting to book the first session becomes a mammoth task of who is available when. If they do manage to book the first session, the difficulty reamerges trying to book session number two, as again there is 'just so little free time'. 

So what these couples are saying is that their relationships are in crisis, and they are desperate to fix it, but unfortunately they have no time in which to start the process. 

Relationships require regular and consistent quality time. If you and your partner are like passing ships in the night then at some point those ships are going to sink.

There is nothing more important in life than the quality of our relationships with our loved ones. At the end of our lives we will not lament the time we failed to spend in the office. But will you whole heartedly be able to say you took the time to have fun, play, learn about, and enjoy the company of the most important person in your life. 

 Make 2020 the year you make space for the quality time your relationship deserves.

Memory Making: Start the year organising 3 trips away for you and your parter, spaced out throughout the year. Book them in advance, block out the time in your diary, arranging childcare if necessary. Make the trips at least one overnight, if possible more. The feel good factor generated by a weekend away can leave a smile and a spring in your step for a long time after.