Discover your emotional triggers.

Discover your emotional triggers.

We are all a product of our childhoods, we all carry emotional scar tissue that when touched reminds us of previous hurts.

In order to discover your own emotional triggers begin by writing a list of the main influential figures from your childhood. The list will include your parents, primary caregivers, siblings, sometimes Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents if prominent in your childhood.

Then write a list of the negative and positive traits of each person. In our adult relationships we are often attracted to people that contain both the positive and negative traits of the main characters from our childhood. These negative traits will be our major emotional triggers. 

For example if you had a parent that was overly critical, then you are likely to react very strongly to criticism from your partner. If you had a controlling or restrictive parent, you are likely to react very strongly if you ever feel you partner is trying to exert control over you. 

However, due to the fact we are often attracted to people that have the negative traits of our parents ( Often because we are comfortable with what we know) we often enter relationships with people that regularly emotionally trigger us. 

By learning what your partners emotional triggers are you can look to better understand each others wounds and begin the journey to heal each other. Learning that your partner struggles with criticism can help you to be very mindful of how you word your communication, staying away from personal or critical attacks of your partners character. 

Also becoming aware of your own triggers allows you to learn strategies to best soothe your own wounds. It can also allow us to teach our partners how they can best support, and minimise attack on our wounds.

I believe we are attracted to the very people that are best able to teach us what we need to learn. 

Working together in this way is hugely powerful, connecting and healing.