Emotionally invest in your relationship - it will pay huge dividends.

Emotional Investment

Think for a moment about why you choose to put money into a savings account.  Savings can be dipped into at times of need, they provide a buffer, a safety net. If you chose not to put money into savings, when a time comes that you need extra finance you immediately go into deficite. 

Our relationships need consistent emotional investment. Imagine for a moment a glass jar, and every time you invest in your partner a token is dropped into the jar. Investment comes in the form of quality time given freely, a genuine smile, a warm hug, a compliment, a thoughtful action, a cup of tea in bed, a loving text, a kind gift, a surprise, actively listening and offering support, taking an interest, empathy and understanding.

Over the years the jar fills up and with the filling of the jar comes an increase in respect, trust and deep connection. When mistakes, hurts and misunderstandings happen (which they will) the accumulation of good will in the jar will carry the couple through. The problem comes for the couple where emotional investments are not made. The jar remains empty, so when the relationship hits a bump in the road, there is no buffer, no stored good will and so the relationship enters an arena of emotional deficit. 

A couple in emotional deficit will begin to pick holes in each other, mistakes will not be forgiven but stored as resentments. They monitor each other, and are quick to criticise and pass judgement. Respect and trust is fragile in this relationship.

Trust and respect is not built in a day, but over time. Consistent positive emotional investment in our relationships shows integrity, and integrity is what all healthy relationships are built on. Show up, be reliable, consistent, and predictable. Integrity allows both partners to step forward into vulnerability, knowing that their secrets will be kept and their stories respected.

Make the choice today to invest heavily in your relationships, as it is the quality of your relationships that will determine the quality of your life.