Divorce Statistics 2018

 Divorce Statistics

There were five times more divorces in 2018 than in the 1950's - so what is causing this alarming rise in divorce? Co-Op Legal Services have recently run a study to uncover the main reasons cited by divorcing couples.

Findings show that  58% of women initiate Divorce and only 33% of men. The most common reason 42% of women give for divorce is " an inapproprate relationship with someone else". While for 42% of men the most common reason given is "Growing apart".

The Top Ten reason for Divorce are - 

1. An inappropriate relationship with someone else.
2. Growing Apart
3. Falling out of love.
4. No longer fancy their partner.
5. One wanting children while the other doesn't.
6. Work commitments.
7. Drug or alcohol addiction.
8. One wanting to relocate.
9. Nothing left in common.
10. Illness.

Most couples that enter counselling are long over due for help. Recent studies have shown that the couples will often struggle for at least 6 years before seeking help. With far more men that women reticent to seek counselling support. 

I believe the main reason couples struggle with the idea of counselling is that it can make people feel very vulnerable, and some people will do anything to avoid feeling vulnerable. Men in particular often struggle to talk about their emotions and feelings at home, so are very likely to feel particularly stressed at the idea of having to open up to a complete stranger.

What should be remembered is that Relationship Counselling is not about attributing blame to one or other partner, but it is about learning new tools so that you cam improve your communication and intimacy. It's about learning how to love.

Most people have never been given any education or training on how relationships work best, with most learning through trial and error. Relationships can get stuck in a rut of negative communication with an ever growing number of stored hurt and resentment. 

Counselling allows you to hit the reset button, to move forward with positivity and hope. To learn each other's language and get the best out of one another. 

The majority of couples I work with wish they had looked for support years earlier. The counselling environment is peaceful and calm and mutually supportive. It is natural to feel stressed initially but people say that their nerves quickly dissolve and that they actually start to enjoy the process. Finally finding a productive way forward rather than continuing in acrimony.

Don't let your relationship become another statistic. All relationships take effort, consistency and patience. Relationship counselling works, over 90% of the couples I worked with last year are happier as a result. Don't put off getting help for another year, act now as the longer you leave it the more ingrained the problems become. Make 2019 your year of change.